The Podcast of the Unidentified

The Inventory goes audio.
Hosted by Lead Researcher Charlotte Fletcher.

Abudctions

A very real problem.

Approximately 4 million Americans have been abducted by aliens since 1986.This number, verified by Susan Blackmore in her research for Sceptical Enquirier Magazine (May/June 1998 issue), may sound implausably large, but using basic arithmetic, one may discover that this translates to only 31,250 abductions a year, in a country with a population of over 333 million.Bringing the discussion a little closer to home, yougov.co.uk/ reports that over half of Britons know that aliens exist, seven percent have seen an Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon, and slightly over twenty percent know someone who has had an encounter. In fact, according to the Essex Police Ledger, there were more than twenty five reports of alien encounters submitted to their offices between 2018 and 2023.While encounters are not abductions, it has been shown that individuals who have already experienced extraterrestrial interaction are seventy five times more likely to go on to have further, and closer, contact with paranatural beings, and fifty eight times more likely to be eventual abductees.In Saulburgen alone, literally tens of people go missing every decade, without even accounting for abductees who are returned, or the undoubtedly numerous unreported incidents!Clearly, this is a problem.A problem no one is taking seriously.And I would like to propose a solution.Alien abductions are such a sensationalized subject. Given the way Hollywood has dramatized and cheapened this very real, frequently traumatic experience, it’s become difficult for even the most serious researchers to report on them without sounding like Ole Billy Tom down by the crick, or some gen z youtuber trying to “go viral.” But, especially where I live, it is likely that at least a few of my listeners will become abductees, and it would be irresponsible of me in my role as Lead Researcher of the inventory if I failed to provide the public with valuable safety information, and potentially even a method of reducing the number of unwilling abductees.But before we dive into that, I would like to take a minute to discuss the abductors themselves. That is, who, exactly, is taking humans, and the purposes for which they are taken.To the layperson, “alien abduction” appears to be a single, monolithic phenomenon- people being sucked up into flying saucers piloted by short, big-headed, non-human entities for the purposes of study and examination. This is, however, not the case. While non-human individuals as described (commonly called “greys”) do make up a significant portion of abductors, there are numerous other entities that also take part in the practice, and human subjects are taken for a wide range of purposes beyond so-called “probing.”One can identify the type of beings involved in an abduction by looking into several things. First– the identity of the abductee. Different entities seek out different types of humans for their subjects. For example, Stockton Strangers are small in stature, and relatively weak, so they will nearly always choose humans who are smaller themselves, usually less than 70 kilos. Though they don’t take children. Ever. Which is incredibly interesting, because it seems like they’d be excellent samples. Actually, for the most part, entities almost never abduct kids. Well. Generally speaking, they don’t. Local abductions skew heavily towards the younger side, a fact which I have several theories about, that I am hoping to get to test someday…Northumberland Neptunians on the other hand, select humans of all ages and sizes, as long as their blood type is either A, or B. Nordic Aliens (also called Space Brothers), who are intraterrestrials rather than extra show a marked preference for men, while Skyfish generally abduct women. (Though, as very little paranormal data includes a category for non-binary individuals, it’s possible those reports are incorrect. Further, and more gender-inclusive, research is warranted.)What is done to abducted individuals provides another useful diagnostic criteria in identifying the abductor. For example, if an individual reports that they spent the majority of their experience levitating or floating several feed above the ground, they were most likely taken by one of the extra terrestrial species, whereas if they were encased in fabric, or in a box-like device, they were probably being held by an intra terrestrial. If their body was pierced with metal skewers, it was probably a Stranger, but if needles were used it is most likely a Grey.Most people do not want to be abducted. This is generally true regardless as to which entity is enacting the abduction. For the vast majority of individuals, alien or other para-natural creature abduction seriously disrupts their life, and often causes lasting negative effects. It is in the best interest of a content and healthy population that traumatic encounters are reduced or eliminated. But how can that be accomplished, you ask?By locating individuals who want to have an encounter, compensating them for their time, and incentivizing their abduction.While their numbers are small, there is an active and vocal segment of the population who would suffer no ill effects from becoming the subject of an non-terrestrial being’s research. Logically, it is these individuals who should be taken, as opposed to those who would be harmed by it.But aliens take whoever they want! We can’t know who they will target, and we certainly can’t force them to take subjects in which they are not interested!Or can we.As is has already been established, one encounter with inhuman entities tends to predispose one for future encounters. People who have been abducted once are highly likely to be abducted again. I propose that all individuals who have alien-type paranormal experiences be screened as potential “compensated captives.” Those who meet the qualification criteria (including a willingness to experience further alien contact,) are then given the opportunity to take on the position. In exchange for fair monetary compensation, these individuals will be put into situations with a high probability of alien involvement– visiting hot spots, socializing with other “CC”s, spending time working with paranatural artifacts and materials, and so on– with the end goal of enhancing their attractiveness to entities, increasing their likelihood of follow up encounters or abductions. We would, in essence, turn these people into “bait,” making them ideal targets, and thus drawing attention away from the Average Joe Civilian, who has no interest in the supernatural.This easy, simple, and logical course of action requires nothing but a small amount of funding, and could potentially save thousands in public and private healthcare costs, not to mention reduce the amount of mental and physical discomfort suffered by humanity at large.I have already drafted a proposal regarding the establishment of the post of “Compensated Captive,” as well as my official expression of interest in taking on said post. I will be presenting both at the next district council meeting. Your support would be greatly appreciated.

• Back to the Inventory

Salburgen Circles

Natural Phenomenon? Design Choice? Or SOMETHING MORE

Coming Soon.

• Back to the Inventory

The Salburgen Sparrowman

Who, or WHAT, is he?

Coming Soon.

• Back to the Inventory

Pineal Gland "Activation"

What "Big Enlightenment" Doesn't want you to know.

The pineal gland (also known as the pineal body or epiphysis cerebri) is a small endocrine gland in the brain of most vertebrates. It produces melatonin, a serotonin-derived hormone, which modulates sleep patterns following the diurnal cycles. It is also the primary neurological location responsible for intuition, higher consciousness, and transcendent experiences.It is also a vital passive sensory organ.Which is something they don’t want you to know.But unlike many people in the "mystical spirituality community", I am a science based researcher. As such, it is my duty to provide accurate, factual information, and to disseminate that information as widely as possible. To get it into the public consciousness. To break the stranglehold quasi-religiosity has on the paranormal.So today, I will be discussing the real function of the pineal gland in occultism and paranormal investigation, and why that function has been suppressed by “Big Enlightenment.”I know what you’re thinking– “Charlotte, you said the pineal gland is a sensory organ. How can that be? It’s inside the brain, isn’t it?”Yes. Yes it is.
…inside the brain.The pineal gland is located in a depression between the two superior colliculi between the laterally positioned thalamic bodies, and posterior to the habenular commissure. Or, in other words, in the center of the brain. But as every paranormal enthusiast knows, it is possible, sometimes even easier! to perceive the supernatural through non-traditional senses! Hence my classification of the gland as a sensory organ.The philosopher DeCarte theorized that the pineal gland was the “seat of the human soul.” While that can’t be proved scientifically, there are numerous studies that have demonstrated beyond a doubt that it is a point of interface between humans and that which is beyond our current understanding.There is data from as early as 1943 supporting these facts. Brazilian paranormal researcher Francisco Cândido Xavier’s psychographic work clearly demonstrates how under- or over-stimulating the pineal gland causes dramatic changes in the psychographer’s ability to channel. Numerous publications in the Journal of Clinical Neuroscience support the conclusions that the chemical triggers that originate in the gland are absolutely essential for entering hypnogogia- the state necessary for humans to achieve aetheric communication. Bellec’s 2024 paper The pineal gland, a global review of its functions and its relationship
with spiritual practices actually identifies those triggers! When even the Medical-Scientific Hegemonic System agrees with so-called radicals, you know it’s true!There can be no question of the factuality of the assertion!Now that you know the actual function of this structure in relation to the occult, let me briefly outline the absurdly flawed claims made by many “spiritual” individuals, and propose an explanation for the prevalence of the ridiculous claims.The biggest problem with the way the occult mainstream treats the pineal gland is that it assumes the organ to be one that can be turned on or off. Just about every so-called “spiritual advisor” has their own method for pineal activation, or opening the third eye, or awakening the vibrations in the center of the brain. They make people think that they need to take some action to make their brain work the way it does naturally.But that isn’t all! Mainstreamists will try to convince you that it is an active organ. That it will react and interface with the paranormal. Some go so far as to say an active pineal is required for the comprehension of the occult and esoteric because it acts like a doorway for aetheric energy, but you have to really work for it. I don’t know about you, but none of my doors require work to let people walk through them.They’ve turned a natural, innate, human ability we all have by virtue of simply… simply having a brain, into something that is so difficult it can only be achieved by the… the… the gym bros of the field of paranormal research!And I know why.Babies.It’s so obvious once you actually start looking deeper into things!It is a proven fact that babies are a trigger for oxytocin and serotonin production, and not just in the body of the person that made them! Proximity to infants, or often simply their residual pheremonal cues has demonstrable effects on hormone levels, specifically the so-called “happy hormones.”Being around babies makes people happier. Chemically.Happy people do not go looking for enlightenment.People who are not looking for enlightenment are less likely to seek out or become part of the mainstream spiritual movement.Thus, the increase in babies in the world directly causes the decrease in their relevance and influence.How does the pineal gland fit into this you ask?I’ll tell you.As you know, the pineal gland regulates melatonin production. Melatonin has been shown to have an effect on reproductive capability. Specifically,that higher melatonin levels result in higher fertility. Thus, an optimally-functioning pineal gland creates conditions that are more likely to produce babies.The interventions meant to “awaken” or the pineal gland in fact impede it’s natural, passive function. By treating it like an active organ, and taking deliberate steps to “open” it, one is, in fact, damaging its ability to serve it’s natural, passive function, both as an occult sensory organ, and a site of hormone regulation and production.So.In order to reduce the number of babies in the world, and thus the overall amount of happiness and contentment in the human population, in order to encourage the unhappy and unfulfilled populace to seek out “religious experiences,” or “transcendence,” Big Enlightenment has conducted a long-term disinformation campaign against the true role of the pineal gland as a passive paranormal organ.

• Back to the Inventory

Alien Big Cats

What are they really?

Alien. Big. Cats.People think ABCs are primarily an Australian phenomenon. And since from the Blue Mountain Panther to the Tantanoola Tiger there are more well-known sightings on that continent than any other, it’s a reasonable assumption. For the amateur cryptozoologist. The very amateur cryptozoologist.There have been dozens, possibly hundreds of sightings in the UK, with 21% of them located in the South West.What else is in the South West, you ask?
Saulebyrgen.This apparently-quiet village is, yet again, the epicenter of a paranormal phenomenon.Have cats been discovered here?No.When this report was written, the nearest documented sighting was the Dartmoore Lion in 1998.But it’s only a matter of time!Let’s dig in.I won’t waste your time with rehashing the basics of the Big Cats. If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re already well past cryptids 101. Instead, we’re going to look at what I believe to be the biggest unknown about these creatures, and my hypothesis about them.But first, can we just talk about the name? Who decided these things should be called alien. I mean, alright, I get it, it makes for a fun acronym but come on, on first glance, no one is going to know that we’re using “alien” in the sense of “introduced from another country or location.” People are going to think about little green men. We paranormal researchers already have to work against absolutely undeserved stigma from the greater scientific community. It is just irresponsible to get cute with names, instead of giving them one that’s descriptive and understandable!! Yes, it’s technically correct, but public perception isn’t about technicalities. It is infuriating.Really, when it comes to ABCs, there’s only one question– if they are, indeed, alien to the place they are discovered, where do they come from??Obviously, the uninformed will tell you that they’re just escaped exotic pets, or mis-identified local species. But we know better.After exhaustive research into the subject, I have come to this conclusion:
Alien big cats are neither alien, nor big, nor, indeed, cats.They are, in fact, squirrels. Specifically, a mutated emergent species.These so-called “cats” are a result of interbreeding between Sciurus carolinensis (the North American Grey Squirrel) and Sciurus vulgaris (the European Red Squirrel) in urban habitats. The developing fetuses are exposed to high amounts of electro-magenetic radiation, causing a steady increase in adult size. Given the explosion of radiation sources, not to mention the introduction of 5 and even six G cell phone towers, this new type of squirrel (which I have dubbed Sciurus magna ignotus) could have quite easily reached the size of mountain lions, puma, panthers, or other “big cats.”I am unsure at this point of they are terrestrial or arboreal. It seems likely that they spend time both in trees and on the ground, but further study is needed to determine if they nest in trees, or dig burrows. They might even create dens similar to actual cats.It is clear, however, that Magna Ignotus are becoming bolder. One needs only to look at the increased frequency of “ABC” siting in the UK to know that, much like their diminutive forebearers, this new species seem to be accustoming themselves to humans. They are being seen more often, and in much closer proximity to inhabited areas.I think it’s unlikely that they pose a significant threat to people. It is likely that they are functionally omnivorous, given that that is the case with the grey squirrel, but almost certainly prefer plant-based foods including nuts and seeds. The main concern is that their willingness to eat meat, combined with a decreased fear of humanity will result in further encroachment, and possible risks to domestic animals and pets.For now, the best approach is continued study. I’ve set up several biological monitoring stations around greater Foxhedge Parish, which will hopefully gather further data and let us draw more informed conclusions. Obviously, if you have an encounter, do. not. engage. But do take pictures! And email them to me!Also, I do want to mention that not all Alien Big Cats are Sciurus magna ignotus. From my research, and discussion with other cryptozoological experts in North America and Australia, it is likely that this emergent species is thus far restricted to England, Scotland, Wales, and possibly Eastern Ireland. I don’t have enough data to draw any conclusions about other locations, though it seems entirely possible that something similar is happening in North America, involving the interbreeding of feral domestic rabbits and black-tailed jackrabbits. I’ve seen pictures of so-called ABCs from California, Nevada, and New Mexico, and there are some distinct resemblances.

• Back to the Inventory